Remember I asked you not to write novels in 'action lines?' That maybe we don't call them 'action lines' just because calling them 'unpublished novel lines' would be too many syllables? I have an addendum...
Also avoid using your action lines to tell us how awesome, or deep, or metaphorical your next bit of dialogue is.
If it is good, you just undercut it with a spoiler. If it isn't... I don't need to explain the downside to that.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Cover Story
Newsflash: Cover stories are hardly ever about how awesome someone is. One person rarely appears on many simultaneously. You hardly ever see one face broadcast all over Times Square, especially over the word 'Messiah?'
If you want your lead to look like Captain Awesome McSuck My Balls you have to try harder. Like, original 'State of Play' harder, where the bright young hope of his party was not introduced during an interview in which a flirty reporter asked him to comment on the rumors God was stepping down next year to let him the take over. That is not what State of Play did.
This is what they did: In what looked like a dry committee hearing he personally reamed an oil company shill a new one with his team's own investigative research.
He earned respect.
Earned.
Stop telling us your lead is so damn cool and show us something.
(Show, don't tell. Didn't I read that in a screenwriting book somewhere?)
If you want your lead to look like Captain Awesome McSuck My Balls you have to try harder. Like, original 'State of Play' harder, where the bright young hope of his party was not introduced during an interview in which a flirty reporter asked him to comment on the rumors God was stepping down next year to let him the take over. That is not what State of Play did.
This is what they did: In what looked like a dry committee hearing he personally reamed an oil company shill a new one with his team's own investigative research.
He earned respect.
Earned.
Stop telling us your lead is so damn cool and show us something.
(Show, don't tell. Didn't I read that in a screenwriting book somewhere?)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
No Weather-Controlling Device for You
Stop telling me how full the moon is. Full moons are expensive. And you never use them for plot. You're just trying to have your own 'Truman Show.'
No, you can't 'cue the sun.' A little weather now and then doesn't hurt if it's plot related. Break-ups happen during storms, sunlight breaks through with new hope, rain equals rebirth... Fine.
But 'Because it's cool' is not plot related.
PS: I know I've said this, but stop giving resumes in character descriptions! Remember: If the audience can't see or hear it, it doesn't exist.
No, you can't 'cue the sun.' A little weather now and then doesn't hurt if it's plot related. Break-ups happen during storms, sunlight breaks through with new hope, rain equals rebirth... Fine.
But 'Because it's cool' is not plot related.
PS: I know I've said this, but stop giving resumes in character descriptions! Remember: If the audience can't see or hear it, it doesn't exist.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Wake with a... STOP
"She wakes with a start." "He jolts awake. IT WAS JUST A DREAM!" "They sit bolt upright in bed..."
I could go on but I won't. Nor should you.
Waking startled is a trope. Proceed at your own risk.
I could go on but I won't. Nor should you.
Waking startled is a trope. Proceed at your own risk.
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